The second in our series of looking at the keywords of the 7 words. Identity is all about being clear about ‘The who of who you are’ and communicating it clearly and honestly.
Many of us are assigned identities early on in life: by gender, by name, by our family of origin or maybe by our obvious characteristics; ‘The Sporty One’, ‘The Pretty One’, ‘The Clever One’ etc.
So many of us have struggled in later life because of our former identities and worked hard to break them, only to find ourselves forced back into them every time we ‘go home’ or visit our family. Who isn’t familiar with the old arguments, labels and expectations which make Christmas Lunch so painful?
In 7 Words we rejoice in the ability to re-frame our identity to suit ourselves, and I would urge any of my clients to spend some therapeutic time re-investigating who they really are. So often we are trying to push away what we don’t want rather than embracing what we do want – and this creates struggle within the psyche, struggles which, i fleft unchecked can lead to depression and anxiety, and a massive deterioration of health
Religion often plays a huge part in this, as does ‘class’ – if you are British – and trying to move away from a ‘protestant work ethic’ or get over ‘catholic guilt’ or even renounce your Muslim upbringing for a more western lifestyle – will be a long hard road, but one worth walking, especially if you know what you are walking toward. Getting support form peers who support your chosen identity can be vital and I would encourage surrounding yourself with people who fully support and encourage you, wherever possible.
Ultimately the important message here is that You get to choose YOUR identity, no-one else!
Yesterday we looked at BOUNDARIES and the importance of communicating where we end and another begins in order to be treated respectfully, so IDENTITY continues this practice of wholly being exactly who you are and allowing the world to have no confusion with regards to how you will and won’t be treated.
If you are aware of an ambiguity – maybe your sexuality or gender-identity is different to what people are used to , it is up to you exactly what you are willing to share and how you negotiate the confusions of others. No-one deserves to know anything about you , and your privacy is yours, but feeling confident in life is all about being strong in your boundaries and clear about your identity.
Change is never easy , but it is a constant part of life as we age, so why not take the plunge and really get to know yourself, what you do, who you are and how you wish to experience life?
If you would like to discuss this further why not pop over to my website where you can learn more and book a session with me.
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