When you come to me for healing or for help, as a man
you are not simply bringing your own pain but the pain of every man that has gone before you
As a White English Male, you carry the stain of your forefathers, the kings, the bishops, the monks and the invaders,
The ships captains, the sailors, the harbour masters, the lawyers
The slave traders, the belligerent fools, the academics who broke all the rules,
You carry within you the DNA of every scientist, explorer, thinker and creator who ever lived, for they are your lineage, your history
They are you.
When you stand before me as a woman in pain
You cry not only for yourself, but for every woman who has ever bled, every mother who has borne a child, alive or dead,
Every girl who had her dreams dashed and her rights violated, every woman of any creed or colour who was enslaved by the patriarchy and who will never know freedom, even in death,
You carry the weight of the eternal women’s struggle and you have no idea
You think this deeply felt melancholy is ‘just me’ and you despise yourself for being so weak, you hate your tears and reject any offers of help or support
Because you grew up in a world where women were told ‘You can have it all’ and ‘You can do it for yourself’
So you try, and yet the pain inside is so great, it cuts deep and makes you bleed, invisible blood that stings and tortures you every minute of every day,
So they put you on Prozac and gave you a label.
The men who made the world the way it is and took control and stole whole lives for centuries
Are now walking amongst us angry and afraid, awaiting their comeuppance, they have a deepest knowing that no one gets away with it forever
The slave traders, the rapists, the warlords, the paedophiles, the churchmen, the hangman, the torturer, the investor, the buyer, the controller, the decision maker, the head of the household, the guiding light, the minister,
The Man. Oh, how he makes you suffer.
‘Father forgive them for they know not what they do’ was uttered that you all might be forgiven
And in being so you might learn to forgive
Yet you continually thought that you knew better and refused to be told, refused to be taught or to learn a new way
And here we are, in my treatment room today,
Talking, just talking, looking for answers for the way you feel,
And the reason why,
And whatever next?
When the truth is, you are every man or woman who has ever lived and you are carrying the pain of generations and some pain is not meant to be healed and will not ever go away.
Lest we forget.